Elvis Impersonators:In Life, it's all about The Chances

'Chances are,' sang Johnny Mathis, riding shotgun alongside Elvis Presley on the pop charts in 1957, the year The King began his infamous above-the-waist-only performance on the Ed Sullivan TV show, and ended by receiving his draft notice.

During the months in between, the country was turned on by his songs 'Jailhouse Rock' and
'All Shook Up.'

And now, 47 years later, Paul Kuhn will wake up in his Schaghticoke home Monday morning
and begin applying his makeup and adjusting his wig, donning a pair of shades and sideburns and making his way to Saratoga Race Course where swarms of Elvises will be competing in the 'Elvis Extravaganza' Impersonator Contest and $1,000 in prize money.

It is estimated there are 35,000 Elvis impersonators around the world, each depicting Presley in various stages of his career. There is the early 1950s wet-behind-the-ears Elvis, the young 'Blue Hawaii' period Elvis, Elvis in the Army, Elvis in black leather as the Comeback Kid and the ever-popular, Elvis in a white jumpsuit of his later Vegas days.

'I do the 1970s Elvis,' Kuhn says. 'The fat Elvis. The guy sitting down eating a cheeseburger Elvis,' he says. Kuhn has been doing costume characters for 32 years, depicting a lineup of cultural icons that have included Richard Nixon and W.C. Fields, Roy Orbison and 'Jake' of Blues Brothers fame.

From 12:30 to 2:30 p.m. Monday, Kuhn and an armada of fellow Elvis impersonators will have their chance to shake it up against the backdrop of horses in training and Frisbee-catching dogs at the racecourse.

It is the first time for the 'Elvis' event's participation in the Saratoga Festival and Dressage. It is produced by the Elvis Extravaganza Fan Club, an organization founded in 1989 that counts more than 50,000 members worldwide. In addition to prize money, the winner will also secure a spot in the national competitions next January in - where else - Las Vegas.

The racecourse, of course, is a place built on chances and sitting in a city filled with talk about long shots, lotteries and sure things; where the most often asked question may be: What are the odds?

The slew of recent area storms brought to mind odds of a more ominous tone.

According to those making book at the National Weather Service, lightning strikes are responsible for an average of 93 deaths every year. A relatively small amount, perhaps, when you consider cumulonimbus clouds and electrical energy are combining to strike 1,800 times around the world right this minute.
Furthermore, the odds of someone being struck by lightning in any given year are a distant 600,000 to one. (Another useful fact is that the distance of a strike can be measured by counting the space between flash and boom, and accounting for a distance of one mile for every five seconds).

The Clash sang about the threatening storms in their tune 'Lightning Strikes (Not Once But Twice),' an event that carries odds somewhere in the neighborhood of 9 million to one.

The late Roy Sullivan was that unfortunate one, several times. In a 35-year period, Sullivan was struck by lightning a shocking seven times, earning him a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records. Now you may be thinking that nature's fury eventually felled Sullivan for good. But you would be wrong. After surviving the seven strikes and well into his 70s, it was a broken heart that finally did Sullivan in. In 1983, distraught over the loss of a woman, Sullivan committed suicide.

Eyebrows were raised on the set of Mel Gibson's film 'The Passion of Christ,' when actor Jim Caviezel, who plays Jesus in the movie, was struck by lightning during the making of the film. If that wasn't enough to invoke visions of a grey-bearded Zeus lobbing jagged bolts from heaven, the film's assistant director Jan Michelini was struck by lightning, twice.
What are the odds of that?

Last week, 44-year old Queensbury resident Patty Vannier beat the odds by winning the top prize in the New York Lottery Panda-Money-Um Instant Game. Chances of securing the ticket with the $1 million payoff are 1 in 5,040,000.

What about when the winning numbers start showing up on your daily e-mail?

'Dear Sir and/or Madam,' one recent transmission started off. 'We are pleased to inform you that your e-mail address drew lucky numbers, which consequentially won the lottery in the first place category. You have therefore been approved for the lump sum pay out of 100,000 Euro. Congratulations. Please inform our fiduciary agent of the designated account of your choice.'

It was signed: Sincerely, The Desk of the Managing Director, Amsterdam, The Netherlands. And that wasn't all. Right behind it was the announcement of $12 million (U.S.) inheritance from the family of the late Chief Joseph Omoruyi in Nigeria, followed by the winning notification for the prize of a whopping $3,500,000 euros from the director of operations in Madrid, Spain. And that was just this morning's e-mail.

Of course, it is that wishful hopefulness that gives these long shots their energy.

Who hasn't imagined the pomp and circumstance and balloons accompanying Ed McMahon pulling up the driveway with an oversized check?
Or, dreamed of matching numbers up, just once, with Yolanda Vega? The underdog as the patron saint of bucking the odds. A half-century ago, Johnny Mathis understood that.

It is the same Johnny Mathis who will be walking on to the stage at Albany's Palace Theatre this week to sing the songs 'Misty' and 'It's Not for Me to Say,' and all about just what the chances are.

'Chances are you believe the stars that fill the skies are in my eyes,' he sang in 1957, riding the pop charts, side-by-side with Elvis Presley.
Nearly 50 years later, and more than a quarter-century after his death, they will be resurrecting The King at the racetrack on Monday.

by Thomas Dimopoulos
Originally published in The Saratogian, 2004.